Courageous Conflict Conversations
It is important to create safe environments so that difficult conversations can happen. Psychological safety encourages parties to resolve conflict, rather than walking away and never resolving anything.
Harmony:
is not about peacekeeping but more about peace-making! It does not mean that both parties need to always agree but it does mean that if they are working towards a unified purpose then the difference in opinions and or suggestions could provide a creative platform for thought-provoking ideas and a whole new perspective. Ensure it is managed and facilitated well.
Managing Conflict
When I coach conflict sessions with a solutions-focused approach, I like to start with finding out what would be a unified outcome that both parties can agree on.
- Before we begin it is important to establish my role as the coach.
- What do they understand about my role – not as a mediator, not to reolve the conflict but to assist them to resolve the conflict?
- What do both parties give me permission to do in the session?
- Starting the session with the question: “what is your hope for our conversation?” thereby agreeing to a desired outcome.
- Both parties agree on what they would like to take away from the conversation.
- Unified outcome – unified purpose
- Both parties establish the rules of engagement for the conversation.
- What are the understood values and guidelines for the conversation?
- How do they interact with one another?
- How do they manage their emotions, while understanding and respecting the emotions of the other person?
- What is acceptable behaviour and what is not acceptable?
- Parking egos at the door and ensuring that it is not about proving who is right and who is wrong but instead to do the right thing and to do things right.
- Allowing both parties to speak, without interruption, keeping aligned to the agreed purpose, agreed values, and agreed guidelines.
- Before leaving the conversation confirm how both parties will proceed outside of this conversation.
- Depending on the relationship, how do they continue to work together and/or live together?
- When things start to become misaligned how would they like to manage the situation?
#simplicity #purpose #unity